Do I Look Like A Damsel In Distress?

Anything else. Chaos had been expecting anything else than what he had told her. She thought maybe he had been trashed by someone he really cared about. Or maybe he had also experienced a near-death situation. She was even going so far as to think maybe he had been kidnapped as a child and just recently found out, or found out at a sensitive stage. She thought maybe Sol thought himself insane. She never thought anything like this.

Chaos was stunned. She was truly shocked. She really couldn't believe what Sol had said. And at the same time it had aroused so many more questions. How old was he? How much family did he have? What was he like before the killings? However, she did notice when he said that he didn't consider the place home. Why not? Did he not feel comfortable there? Did he have somewhere else he called home? What about now? Where was 'home' to him now?

Chaos knew there was more than just that so she didn't ask anything. She wanted to comfort him, but sat there. She gave him a sympathetic look. She didn't barrage him with questions. Instead she nodded for him to continue.

[Solemn Creed]

Chaos seemed stunnd by what he had told her so far. It was to be expected. Most people would want to sympathize with you if they found out that when you were barely more than a child your entire family and everyone else you had ever know were murdered in a most brutal fashion. There was only one thing for Sol to do and he did it. He continued.

[glow=red,2,300]"I had never know anyone outside of our community. Never known anyone who wasnt a demon. But back to the incident. They snuck in while i was sleeping. I slept much more soundly back then, after all i had felt safe and secure. I heard a noise and went to investigate. They hit me in the head with something heavy and spiked."[/glow]

Sol rubbed the back of his head at the painful memory. It was a good thing his skull was so thick. Even with a glancing blow the thing had nearly taken half of his skull off.

[glow=red,2,300]"Anyways I woke not much later to more pain. The were nailing me to the floor at the center of my home. Big thick nails like the ones they used to use to crusify people. That was when they set the house on fire."[/glow] Sol laughed in an odd sort of way. [glow=red,2,300]"But not before they doused me with what must have been whale oil. You see, they wanted to make sure i would burn."[/glow]

Sol paused once more, a grim expression upon his face. The memory enraged him so. But even moreso was the frustration that he knew nothing about the murderers. Not even their race or races.

If there was one thing Chaos had never been, it was isolated. When she was nine, her father took her on a tour of the world. He told her she needed to recognize good as well as she did evil. Sol, on the other hand, had never seen anything except his own people. He knew nothing of the world outside or his home.

He continued talking about being knocked out form a blow to the head. Her heart ached for him, and without even thinking she reached a hand up to touch the spot on his head. She quickly realized what she was doing and let her hand fall to the bed mumbling apologies. She needed to get a hold of herself. She drew invisible patterns onto the bed.

He said they nailed him to the center floor of his home. They tried to crucify him minus the cross. She wondered if the marks were there still, and stole a glance at his hand. She couldn't see any. Then again he was also left inside a burning building; he didn't look like a burn victim,.

Sol looked angry and Chaos was pained. She hated seeing people like this. Especially people she cared about- which was few and far between. No one should have gone through what he did. She stared solemnly at the bed and waited for him to gather himself enough to continue.

[Solemn Creed]

Sol flinched when she touched the spot where he had been hurt all those years ago. Sol had been wounded many times but never like that. The feeling was almost indescribable. He couldnt move and his body had fallen like a ragdoll. As he slipped from conciousness his only thught was So this is death...

[glow=red,2,300]"I thought i would be crushed by the collapsing building but i wasnt although i was stuck under the rubble and debris for a while. I struggled to free myself. The screams they... gave me the strength i needed to win free..."[/glow]
Sol held his hands up and shrugged helplessly [glow=red,2,300]"By the time i had managed it they were all dead, just about. I emerged just in time to watch one of my only friends die. They almost got me as well but i managed to escape, i dont remember the exact details."[/glow]

Finally finished Sol looked at Chaos and said [glow=red,2,300]"And there it is. The incident that greatly affected who i am at this date."[/glow]

"I- I'm sorry. I really can't think of what to say, Sol. I want to say something comforting -even encouraging. But I'm only nineteen, what could I possibly say that someone hasn't already? And you being 'old enough' and all, what could I say that you haven't already heard?" Chaos felt a little more than useless.

Chaos in her nineteen years, have never witnessed someone she cared about die. She couldn't imagine what it must have felt like. A pain thudded in her heart and she nearly snorted. Maybe she could understand a little bit. She just looked at him. She of course sympathized with him, but she didn't know how to show it without knowing which boundaries not to push. She wondered what other people -she knew there must be a few- had said when they had heard the story. Had they been as sympathetic as her? Had they been scared? Had they felt pity for him? She still wanted to question him, but she couldn't think of a question that didn't relate back to his history. A question that had been burning her to the point of no return finally came pouring out.

"Where's home? Truly, the place where you're comfortable at. Where is it?"

[Solemn Creed]

Sol shook his head. She didnt have to say anything and he told her so.[glow=red,2,300] "There is nothing to say. It was horrible but i moved on, sort of."[/glow]

Sol loved his the land of his origins. So much so that he never intended to return or if he did he wouldnt stay for very long. The United States of America was his home now and had been since Jamestown.

[glow=red,2,300]"My home is the United States of America now. I have resided there since Jamestown and I love it. I have fought in every war and kept with it through every twist and turn. Specifically I live in Detroit, Michigan."[/glow] He told her

[glow=red,2,300]"It may not be the best place in the world but it is my home"[/glow] he said simply.

"Hmm...home.." She said in a reminiscent sort of voice.

Home for her was a nice permanently locked apartment in Paris. She was lucky to call it home. Her parent's house, never a place she could call home. She never stayed for long. Even as a child, she outside mostly all the time. She hated staying in that house. Home is a place your heart is. Her heart was far from there. that place was so uncomfortable, its screamed 'get out!' at her. He parents were never supportive or loving to her either. She laughed bitterly at the thought of not even having her parents to turn too. She glanced out side to see a raging snow storm. Somehow, it was comforting. It showed the turmoil inside her mind.

"The state of being on the outside only reflects the state of being on the inside..." She murmured the words to herself, mesmerized by the flurry of snow and hail. "You ever notice that? When you're all hectic and busy, your bedroom is jumbled and mixed around. When you're bored and lonely, everything seems bland including what you do. When you're burning with anger, a thunderstorm hits your town. Relevance. It's all relevant." Chaos spoke softly, as if speaking any louder would disturb her false inner peace.

[Solemn Creed]

Sol listened to her words but they made no connection with him. To Sol the world had ever been unchangable. No matter how many he killed the world went on without noticing. There was only so much one individual could do. In the end Sol had accepted his fate. He no longer attempted to change his life. he had no power over that so he attempted to change the lives of others, usually in a negative way for that made things more interesting.
[glow=red,2,300]
"Chaos," [/glow]Sol began [glow=red,2,300]"What does that mean to you exactly?" [/glow]Sol asked her.

She was quiet as though thinking but was talking in a way that reminded Sol of a movie hed seen once about some guy who believed aliens were doing a bunch of pointless stuff, and that it was all connected, all relevant.

Sol shook his head to clear such thoughts. Chaos was no crazy alien conspiracy person. But she was acting strange adn that worried Sol

"What does it mean to me? That's a good question. Maybe it means we're all connected in someway. Maybe it means we are each other in some ways. You get angry at your sibling for not wanting to play with you. You throw their favorite toy out into the street. Sibling gets hit by a car. Then you feel guilty. Why? Because in a way you felt like you made that car come right then. The driver on the other hand was visiting family and took a wrong turn. " Chaos stopped for a moment and turned to look at Sol. "Really, it seems like a string of coincidences. Bad luck. If could happen to anyone and make them feel guilty. I told her that too. That little girl told me that a week before it happened she had a dream that her sister's death occurred. I called her a liar and she pulled out a sketch pad. Dated July 21st there was a gravestone with her sisters name crawled onto in, a semi truck in the background. Her sister, Alice, died on the 28th." Chaos finished up her story laying down and sighing.

"I don't know what it means. However, that little girl -Angela- was expecting me. That human girl, at age nine, had more wisdom then my mother who's going on 106 in September. It really got to me." Chaos shrugged. "Don't really know where I was going with that last part. However, I do know that its a blizzard out there in a cold fury, all confusing and disgusting. And right now, I feel very confused and slightly disgusted with my thoughts, along with horribly worried. Like Angela, things are clicking together liek puzzle pieces."

She couldn't explain what was wrong with her. It was like she was in a trance. She felt sleepy, but didn't want to sleep. She felt confused on how someone could nail a boy to the center of his home, no grudge what so ever. She was disgusted with herself at the feeling of wanting to hurt strangers - people she didn't even know- for hurting someone she had just met a day or two ago. Yet, somehow he hit her soft spot. And that's where she was worried. She was worried that if she got too close to him, the archangels would do something drastic, like lock her away. If they knew she was comfy with a demon they would take her away to never see Sol again. That was very worrisome to her.

"Do you think its relevant?"

[Solemn Creed]

Sol listened to her speak and when she finished he thought for a moment. Things that were to be but were not yet held no meaning for him. Sol was unpredictable, his future uncertain. The very meaning of destiny is that of a predestined fate. If untrue for even one individual then the entire idea is unraveled. After all, if someone can make their own fate, why cant anyone?

Or at least that was what Sol always asked himself. Truth be told Sol had no idea whether destiny was real or not. If it was then only the gods knew. And anyone they felt like telling...

[glow=red,2,300]"Everything is relevant, and yet nothing is. Translation; you decide what is relevant. Do i think it is relevant? I cannot honestly answer. I can say this, I know what is important to me and I would never allow anyone to keep me from it."[/glow]

"Even for your own good?"

Chaos didn't know why she asked that. She believed in the same. She wanted to know the truth no matter who stood in her way; she would know. She believed knowing was for her own god rather than against it. After all, who wants things hidden from them? She paused.

Nobody wanted things hidden from them. Nobody wanted to be the only one truly ignorant. Nobody wanted to be left out. Yet, that's how life turned out sometimes. Chaos wanted to know why her mom couldn't accept her. She wanted to know why her dad followed silently when he was fully capable of making his own decisions. She wanted to know what forced Scarlet to act how she was. She wanted to know where she had truly gone wrong. She wanted to know the exact moment she screwed up to set off all of her other mistakes. She wanted to know why she was cursed with such a power. And Sol.

He must want to know who killed his parents. He must want to know why. He must think about how things could have been different. He might think about how little things can change the course of your life. He probably wonders and asks himself why he has some of the insecurities he had. Chaos knew she wondered why she had hers.

"If there is one question in the world you could ask, and receive an honest answer to, what would it be?"

[Solemn Creed]

When she asked Sol that he had to do some serious thinking. So many years, so many questions. It was hard to choose. For years Sol had stumbled about after the slaughter of his kin, wondering why. Then he began to wonder who and how they had taken out an entire community of demons who on average were 8 feet tall.

But as he aged his questions became more personal, more selfish. How can i become more powerful? Why should i compromise when i can just take it all? Sol asked many questions but most were answered or he didnt want them answered.

At one time Sol had been one of the most curious person one could ever meet. Within his community they were taught little of other races and outside events. They were very isolated and as such there was much Sol did not know. When he left the destruction that had once been his home all he ever did was learn. But in the end this is what made him lose his mind.

[glow=red,2,300]"Curiousity killed the cat, they say," [/glow]Sol laughed [glow=red,2,300]"In this case it just drove him insane." [/glow]his expression became more serious [glow=red,2,300]"I have learned that it is better to seek out answers without aassking questions."[/glow]

Chaos paused at his answer. "But satisfaction brought it back." She said deciding to at least finish the saying for him. "Not a lot of people know the other half to that. Seeking out answers can be difficult, especially when its not a physical or even logical one. Sometimes they can be difficult to understand. Sometimes you'll never understand them." She sighed.

She felt like she hit a dead end. She collided face first into a brick wall. She couldn't think of anything to ask Sol. Lie. She couldn't think of anything to ask Sol that didn't seem to pry too deep. No matter how much she wanted to pick at his brain, take it apart and reassemble it together, she knew that he was entitled to his privacy as she was hers. Which he had given her greats lengths of. Anything she didn't want to talk about, he didn't push. However, he opened up and told her anything she asked. Somehow it seemed unfair. Then again maybe she just didn't believe she deserved such kindness.

"So what exactly does preventing harm from coming to me entail? Aren't their certain boundaries? Certain exceptions in which no help can be offered?" Chaos asked thinking about her nightmare again. She didn't really expect Sol to jump into her dreams and save her from internal turmoils and demons. However, she did feel like something big was coming.

[Solemn Creed]

Sol shook his head. [glow=red,2,300]"Not all answers satisfy. All questions can be answered by anyone and all, whether with the truth or mere fabrication is the only difference. Few are as satisfied with the answers they receive to difficult questions as the fictional cat who died and was returned to life."[/glow]
The blizzard still raged outside, Sol would know if it stopped and calmed down. At that moment, with the fire crackling soothingly behind him and the wind wailing almost melodiously, Sol remembered why he truly loved the beautiful great white north. Not because it was cold nor because it was sparsely populated. But because of its stength.

The north, with its cold and harsh winds, tested you. It tested you to see if you were worthy. You want to do something difficult, climb a mountain. You want to know yourself, spend a winter in the far north with only basic survival tools.

Sol's mind slowly drifted back from limbo and he focused on Chaos yet again. What had she said just then...

"It's true. However I don't think I'm the only one who's wished to be the cat. Satisfaction are difficult to find in these times. Everyone expects so much of so many things, where one is satisfied about one thing he is disappointed with another. We expect too much." Chaos said sighing.

She was mostly referring to her mother and clan, and how much they expected of her. They totally overlooked her accomplishments and only could see her bad deeds. She had done some pretty amazing things, but nothing would ever sate them. She had to keep pushing herself and pushing herself, and even then she would never be good enough. So she had stopped trying. Let them be disappointed. They don't know how else to feel when it comes to her.

She noticed how Sol got this faraway look in his eyes. He looked peaceful and she smiled a bit. She didn't even notice how he didn't answer her question. She normally didn't really like the cold. Or the quiet. It gave her too much time to think about something, whereas in the city everyone's hustling and making noise, you can hardly breath. That was more her lifestyle. However, she couldn't deny the certain charm the quiet life had.