Post by Rae-Star Berii on Nov 19, 2012 13:56:56 GMT -5
Blood.
Beautiful. Bitter. Bashful. Blood.
It trickled down the soft, porcelain curve of Rae's arm.
Sweet release.
Rae sat on the titled bathroom floor of the subway station; it was dark; after the evanescent rush-hour traffic, after the sycophantic fantasy of evening life. She had slumped against the hand-basin and was sloped like a rag-doll against the graffiti dirtied wall watching the gentle caress of the glistening globules of blood with an almost hypnotic attraction. It consumed her soul. Slipping down the bare underbelly of her forearm the blood rolled and tumbled and danced on its way to the floor. Rae sighed, relief swamping her, filling her, satisfying her need to feel something, anything.
She hadn't done this to herself in six months; she hadn't needed this ugly empowering feeling since Taron had died. But recently she had felt tortured by her own soul, entrapped by the path she had taken. Here she could not purchase alcohol and as the destructive need thrived and swindled her, this seemed the only sensible outcome; that or she'd find herself on the street begging for someone, some stranger, to mistreat her.
Rae had considered drugs, but she couldn't bring herself to fall so low.
Blinking her vision swam, red stained the cream of her long t-shirt. It bore the "born in the 80's" branding that was popular, but the star like sparkle was gone now, replaced with the smatters of her self-harm. She sighed again, and brought her wrist to her mouth, sucking on the horizontal razor cut. As the iron-tasting sweetness tarnished her tongue she winched, relinquishing the positively vampiric feeling and spat.
Control reinstated she sat a moment longer. That's what this was about; after all, this was all about control. It was not, Rae assured herself, a suicide attempt. Stemming the bleeding, for now, she staggered to her feet and faced the tram lines of mascara in the mirror.
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Nov 19, 2012 14:18:05 GMT -5
Never before had Ciriel considered leaving the confines of the forested world to do something as strange as mingle with mortals. She preferred the safety that the leafy foliage provided, and the more sheltering embrace that the flora and fauna of the world provided. However if she were to become more attune to the world, she needed to know more about all of it. Not just the greener parts of it.
Somehow she had managed to get herself into one of the large cities of North America, and she couldn't help but feel out of place. The fact that she was even here made her feel uncomfortable, having to hide her feathered appendages from human eyes. She was fortunate enough having been able to 'borrow' a sweater from some store, to be able to hide the wings as best as she could. But she still felt uncomfortable in this setting, for there was little plant life to keep her within her comfort zone.
And it was loud. Almost too loud. The bustle of the city was almost enough to drive the girl crazy, so she needed to seek somewhere a little less populated, and a little quieter. She found the subway system, a set of stairs that led to some underground tunnel system that ran under the city, and quickly fled down there to escape the noise. Unfortunate the tunnels itself only seemed to amplify the sound of the subway carts as they rushed in and out of the area. And so Ciriel struggled to find somewhere quiet once more.
Her search led her to looking through the different doors of the particular station she was in. She would poke her head in anywhere that wasn't locked, and eventually she came across the bathrooms. Though not pretty, they did offer a little more peace and quiet. It just so happened that the one she decided to hide out in was the same one as some unfortunate soul, who was bleeding out at the wrists...
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Nov 19, 2012 14:55:29 GMT -5
The door swung open; clunk-clunk, it wafted stale air into the room and set a breeze across the back of her neck. It lifted her hair, sitting it over her shoulder a little more as she leant on the sink and stared at herself. Rae was a pretty girl in her eccentric way; her hair was rainbow coloured, bright and flamboyant. Her face was slender, her skin pale and wrapped tightly on her bones. She was slim all over, shoulders curved, hips tiny. In her oversized, blood smattered top she looked even smaller- childlike almost.
Her almond gaze came back to her face and the mascara tram marks that painted her cheeks with charcoal darkness. Had she been crying? Rae didn’t remember. How long had she been sat in here? Another unanswered question slipped from the depths of her mind, dancing off into the graveyard for all misguided questions.
Rae reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear; it was heavily pierced, six silver studs in told up the curve of her left ear. It was as she did this that Rae noticed the girl; she was blonde, full lipped, sparkly eyed. Perfect. Rae instantly envied her. Rae use to be her, she used to be that girl, the top of her class, the princess of her social network. Blonde, beautiful…she used to be those things. The piercings, the hair dye and the cutting…it had all started when her father was ripped out of her life; when she was cast into the hands of her abuse her. It was her rebellion; the beginnings of her self-destruction.
“What are you looking at?” Rae snapped, her British accent stopping her from fitting in.
She span on the heal of her biker boots to stare at the girl fully; her arm falling down to her side, brushing across the white of her top and spreading a new smear of her top. It was only as she turned away from the mirror that she realised the girl looked terrified, confused and afraid. She didn’t look like the typical New York city girl, New York city girls didn’t stop to give someone her the time of day.
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Nov 22, 2012 21:15:12 GMT -5
Ciriel was quite surprised by the rather bitter reaction she received from the woman before her. She wasn't used to being around humans, but she never expected them to be this crude. She frowned, tilting her head to the side slightly in silence, continuing to look at the woman, almost as if studying her. The woman had quite a bit of blood on her, as if having been in some sort of struggle. The thought made her uneasy, to be around someone that was violent. But there was nobody else around, and she needed a place to get away from the noise of the outer world.
It was obvious in the way she behaved that she didn't fit in, remaining silent still as she glanced around rather nervously at their dank surroundings. A passing train in the underground system just outside their bathroom caused her to jump rather noticeably, spinning around to look at the now closed door that led back out to the subway. A good eye would notice a slight shifting underneath her oddly fitting sweater, the girl's feather's ruffled underneath her clothing in response to the sudden loud noise.
Waiting for a few moments, she returned to face the woman, moving forward rather timidly, her eyes still glued toward the girl's injury. At the same time her wings calmed down, returning to their flattened state against the constriction of the clothing she wore. With a quiet voice, she opened her mouth to address the stranger before her, and with a slightly broken voice spoke:
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Nov 30, 2012 14:04:32 GMT -5
Perhaps Rae had acting out of haste when she snapped at the girl. It was a not personal nor was it out of spite but merely a reaction to the interruption of the very private moment she was having. Of course, having such a moment in the bathroom did not give her rights to have a go at some self-respecting woman on their way home from work, the poor girl was probably commuting from some mind-numbing dull desk job in the heart of the city. Or at least, this was Rae’s thought until the woman jumped when the train rattled passed. For a moment the lights in the grim bathroom flickered and buzzed noisily and Rae found herself studying the girl. Something here was not right… what would it be now? Would it be some god forsaken vampire here to try to kill her all over again?
For a few moments there was silence between them; silence other than the drip, drip, dripping of one of the loose taps; silence other than the hum from the filament strip-light. Rae wet her lips slowly. She wondered, truly, what she must look like. If it had not been the girl who had walked in but a late night patroller what would they see? Would they see a girl in a t-shirt that she was wearing as a dress, a t-shirt that should’ve been white but was smattered with red and brown, blood and dirt from the ground? Would they see the scratches on her arm where she had committed her self-harm more than once or would they simply see the blood and assume that she had done something more malicious?
The girl’s voice brought her back out of her speculation and she blinked for a moment. “Wha-what?” she whispered, her voice suddenly horse. It wasn’t a question she was used to being asked anymore- not since she’d been on her own. There had been no one to ask those sorts of questions, and it took her a little by surprise. Rae was not sure how to answer even; it seemed insane to suggest that she was okay. She was not okay; if she was okay would she be in a low life toilet in the middle of a subway station with tracks of mascara tears on her face? Of course, to suggest such a thing would not only be rude but would totally out of character for Rae- Rae who was shy and curious and generally gentle mannered.
“I-“ She frowned for a moment and turned, dropping the razor blade she had been using into the sink, it rattled against the china before laying still. “No.” She said, deciding to be honest. “But I will be. Thanks.” She murmured, looking at the girl via the reflection of them both in the mirror. She turned the tap, turning the drip, drip, dripping into a constant flow of water and put her arm under it, washing away the worst of the blood. It was cold against her skin and soon stemmed the crimson flow from her vein.
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Dec 6, 2012 0:58:55 GMT -5
Clearly this girl was not okay, upon seeing the blood dripping from her wounds. She could not have known that the girl had inflicted the wounds upon herself, as she could not have seen this as a possibility. After all, she rarely ever surrounded herself with humans, and despite her best efforts to try and understand them, she could never figure them out no matter how much she tried. So the idea of self inflicted pain was a foreign concept for her, as it served no purpose.
Carefully she glanced down at her own clothing, the green dress she always wore covered at the top by the sweater she wore. It looked like a strange pairing, but she was not one to fully understand the human race, so she did not quite see the mismatch. After all, the sweater was merely to keep her wings hidden from the population. She knelt down carefully, ripping a couple of small strips from the silk-like fabric, before shuffling closer to the girl once more, offering them in her hands. Even if she claimed to be okay, it wouldn't be right to leave her here on her own, when she was clearly in some kind of distress.
"Here..." Ciriel started, carefully demonstrating the use of the strips to cover her wounds, and cover the wounds that had been caused. They would not do much to reduce the pain, but they would at least make the injuries a little less messy.
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Dec 7, 2012 15:56:08 GMT -5
((My hundredth post. Yay))
The girl came closer, invading her personal space with her odd green fabric in her hands. It took Rae a moment to realise what the girl intended to do with the fabric. She frowned a little and watched, almost, dumbly as the girl wrapped her arm up. The silk was soft against her raw skin, soft against the burning maltreatment of her scars. The red, momentarily open wounds were not the only ones. Below the most recent red scratches was several white, bone- like lines, stretching down her fore-arm. Her coping strategy; her kryptonite; it was engraved there for the girl to see as she came closer and offered her assistance.
Rae just stood silently, wincing once as the threads were pulled tightly. “Thanks.” She whispered, unable to find a stronger voice. “You didn’t….why did you do that?” She asked, leaving her arm suspended in front of her, even as the girl stepped back. It wasn’t very…New York of her. This world, this place, was so busy, so chaotic all the time. It was an never-ending cycle of anger and hatred and greed, it was a boiling pot of mistrust and misuse and abuse. This city was as sick as some of the people who inhabited it, and she had never met a stranger who would stop and take a moment to be so kind. Not here, not in New York.
She hadn't done this to herself in six months; she hadn't needed this ugly empowering feeling since Taron had died. But recently she had felt tortured by her own soul, entrapped by the path she had taken. But Rae wasn’t sure she felt any better as she was faced with this girl’s pity. Rae took it to be pity, after all, the girl had to be a lunatic to stop and help a completely stranger, and who had clearly done this to herself. All the pieces fit, the razor blade in the sink, the previous cuts, the lonely mascara tears.
“I’m Rae.” She said, shakily.
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Last Edit: Dec 7, 2012 15:56:32 GMT -5 by Rae-Star Berii
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Dec 12, 2012 17:01:57 GMT -5
Ciriel simply smiled, continuing on quietly to wrap the girl's wound with the small section of cloth, until it was completely covered by the thin fabric. While it did little to stop the bleeding that was still in progress, it would help prevent any infections for when the wound would begin to heal. As her delicate hands finished their work upon the stranger's arm, the angel took a step back, to admire her work for only a moment.
The girl seemed rather confused, shakily questioning her actions toward her. Ciriel only smiled back, timidly allowing her hands to fold together in front of her neatly, not having anywhere else to place them for the time being. "...I just wanted to." she replied in her quiet yet delicate voice, which seemed almost muted by the surrounding ambiance. Ciriel had no idea why the girl seemed so confused about why she had helped her, having seen no reason not to do so. She did not fit in this girl's world however, so there was no way for her to know of this. Even if she was that one in a million to care, she would never known.
As the girl then introduced herself the angel smiled, trying to make the girl feel more at ease. "...I'm Ciriel." she replied, trying to mimic the girl's introduction, minus the shaky uncertainty that came with her voice.
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Dec 12, 2012 17:12:34 GMT -5
The girl was angelic, she seemed naïve and too gentle to be from this dangerous city. Rae wondered privately if she had ever come across so adolescent to a stranger; when she had first entered this dangerous world, when she was once so inexperienced had she come across so green? So simple? So beautiful and out of place? Rae doubted it, there had always been a darkness about her soul, she was stained with the sins of others, it dampened her ability to be seen as angelic, surely? The woman before her seemed so delicate, and Rae almost felt like this meeting should be going the other way, that Rae would be responsible for the woman, that she should be wrapping her in cotton wool and making her world easier to bear.
“Ciriel.” Rae nodded, repeating the name and getting a feel for it on her tongue. It was an odd name, though Rae presumed her own name to be considered so. Of course her real name wasn’t Rae, it was Rachael, Rachael Star (yes that was the middle name her parents gave her) Berii. It had been shorted by her school friends, Abbie and Ki-ki; who ultimately became Apple and Kiwi- all of them had been blonde, all of them had been beautiful high maintenance Chelsea girls, who had decided to change their names to fruits, because that would be ‘a totally awesome thing to do’. From Raspberry to Rae in a matter of days she found the name stuck; it reminded her that she was hiding everything that was real and important to her under a hardened; pretended…fake…coating.
Wetting her lips slowly, she turned to the sink, looking down at the razor and the blood on the yellow porcelain and then once more she turned to the mirror. Washing the make-up off her face and feeling very silly, she turned back to the girl for a moment. “I- I owe you one.” She offered, in her very British accent. “Let me buy you a coffee?- Even if it is just cheap underground crap?” She could not get use to calling it a Subway…a Subway was a sandwich. Rae's stomach groaned at the thought of the juice sub, frankly, she felt a little sick with blood loss and could probably do with a sugar rush.
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Dec 12, 2012 17:21:21 GMT -5
Ciriel had no clue what a 'coffee' was. Perhaps it was some sort of food, one that she of course was unfamiliar with. All she knew were fresh fruits and meats, none of the processed and refined things that were offered throughout the different cities. Even the cooked and prepared fruit dishes she had tried failed to compare to the wild and untamed variety that she had been so familiar with all this time. Still, she would hate to be rude and turn down the offer from the thankful girl.
"...Okay..." Ciriel finally responded, taking Rae up on her offer. She couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable though at the momentary silence that had fallen between the two just moments ago, as if the girl was trying to get a feel about what she was. She knew for a fact that she stuck out like a sore thumb, but it couldn't be helped. She only hoped that the woman wouldn't get too close to the truth, and force the angel to go back into hiding once more. As ignorant as they were, these humans had a shred of curiousity about them, that reminded the girl about herself. And despite her comfort in the wilds of the world, they were far too isolating and lonely, forcing Ciriel to have to explore the world to find some sort of kinship in her life.
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Dec 13, 2012 14:54:37 GMT -5
”…Okay…”
Rae nodded, quietly; she reverted back to her shy character. In all matter of fact, Rae was not the sort of person to shout at anyone; what she had done only moments ago was something of an out of character event brought on by her own embarrassment and shame. Rae knew things here weren’t right, she wasn’t right, she wasn’t okay and it didn’t matter how much she pretended she was okay. The other thing that was not one-hundred-percent right was; this blonde, Ciriel. She seemed like she did not fit in, and every moment that past Rae was becoming more aware of this fact.
“Are you sure?” She asked, bending to where she had dropped her back pack under the sinks. She picked it up, slinging it over her shoulder and pulling on a dark grey hoody over her blood-stained “born in the 80s” top. Brushing a little of the bathroom floor slim off her side, she smiled. “Where were you heading?” Rae asked, shyly; “I don’t want to take you away from your destination…”
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Dec 19, 2012 14:26:16 GMT -5
That was one of the things that Ciriel had noticed about the humans since first coming into contact with them long ago. They always had to be doing something, or going somewhere. They always needed some sort of engagement to keep themselves busy in the world, never taking the time to simply go out and wander about for no reason. Of course, Ciriel never had any obligations to tie her down, and so was never able to reason their actions.
As the girl questioned whether or not she was sure if she wanted to go, then also questioned where she had been going before, Ciriel simply nodded quietly. "...I wasn't heading anywhere, really." she replied, wondering if the girl would question her lack of motivation to travel to any specific areas. She had simply been in this vast city to wander, to look. Not to shop, or eat, or meet with someone. Just to simply exist within it.
The longer she stayed in this city though, the more and more uneasy she felt. She found that the lack of any real nature was eating away at her inside, the sounds and smells and pollution all making her feel rather sick. The girl wasn't used to being cooped up in such a noisy man-made place, and it would take well over a day to leave anyways.
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Dec 19, 2012 14:31:06 GMT -5
Rae looked at the girl strangely for a moment, but Rae had already worked out that not everything going on here was as it seemed. She understood people had secrets, heck, the girl had just walked into one of Rae’s bigger secrets after all, but there was something distinctly naïve about the woman. “You’re not from around here, are you?” She asked gently, in her sweet British voice- suggesting that neither was she. There was something about her accent that instantly made Rae trustworthy, there was something soothing her noticeably English tones; something song lark-like.
“I have to find my dog.” Rae explained after a momentary pause as she led the girl out of the bathrooms and into the main station. It was busy here, and the buzz of the trains and the chatter of the people made Rae’s head split. A little louder, as to be heard over the noise of an underground train trundling by, she added; “He’s probably chasing rabbits in the park- we could get coffee and go for a walk that way?”
The less people around, the more comfortable Rae was.
Post by Ciriel Avalon on Dec 19, 2012 14:41:33 GMT -5
Ciriel shook her head in response to the girl's comment, knowing that she was right. She could only give away that she was not from this place, but where she really was from she did not fully know herself. The girl could not remember who she really was, or where she had come from, so she could not eve answer the question for herself.
The girl then mentioned something about a dog, and before they knew it they were back outside of the bathroom, into the busy subway system once more. The girl could barely hear her after that point, the sheer business of the station making it far more difficult for the angel girl to retain her focus on the other girl. It was one thing for the sheer noise around her to distract her, but the hundreds of people crammed into the station that drove the girl crazy. Because of both, she was forced to cover her ears with her hands as she followed Rae once more.
Ciriel didn't really know what a 'dog' was. Perhaps it was one of those domesticated creatures that humans sometimes kept for companionship. Living mostly in the jungles she had never really encountered a wild one for herself, more used to the rarer creatures such as snakes, fish, and jaguars.
Post by Rae-Star Berii on Dec 26, 2012 6:38:25 GMT -5
”Me either.” Rae murmured when the blonde shook her head. Rae knew what it was like, coming to New York and how scary and intimidating it could be. Having been here once or twice now she did not understand why people thought the streets were paved with gold and that opportunity was around every corner. No, sir, what lay around every corner was misery and filth and horror. People were stabbed, shot, mugged and raped daily, people died as if life meant nothing more than the shit on the bottom of a shovel and everyone was rude during the rush hour. It was something of an unwritten rule; be rude during the hours of 7-9am and 4-6pm. At least Rae had been broken in gently; she’d spent a couple of years in Chicago; that was another big puss ridden pimple on the world.
Rae weaved her way around the people expertly and no one seemed to pay them much attention. She ducked between the rows of business commuters as if it was second nature to her, and stay far away from anyone suspicious looking. Pausing for a moment as they came to the surface and out of the underground tunnels she found herself talking once more; “Of course he’s not really my dog, but I think he thinks he is- I rather think he thinks he’s human sometimes. Funny little animal.” She said, feeling a little awkward.
Pausing outside of a glass window only to open the door for the girl, Rae led Ciriel to Starbucks. The green and cream, the smell of coffee beans and the hushed bustle was much more welcoming and warm-feeling than the street; as they stepped into the dimly lit, sleepy little bistro, Rae even yawned.
